The Night Before The Wedding - Superstition Versus Reality

Lovely fiance and I were talking last night and he casually slipped into the conversation the question of where he would be sleeping the night before our wedding. I say to this blog what I replied to him - in all honesty, I had assumed he would be in his normal place next to me.

Nine-year-old daughter reacted in horror at the portent of doom which would be inflicted on our family by the groom seeing the bride before the wedding. She really needs to watch less television. I pointed out to her that I think this particular superstition has more to do with him seeing me in The Frock than seeing me in my normal grim condition before I've had the chance to put on make-up and tame the fright wig that is my bed hair. Since he sees me looking my worst every morning on the pillow next to him, I can't see that one more time before we marry will make any difference. However in the interests of tradition, I mentally explore the possibility of him taking up a room at our hotel for the eve of the wedding, or perhaps staying the night at his parents' home. ( The prospect of me spending the night at my own mother's is not something I wish to consider even hypothetically, as I would be likely to have a nervous breakdown before morning).

I don't have to take this fantasy too far before realising that whatever bad luck and gloom could be inflicted upon us by his flouting the rules of superstition, it has to be weighed against the stresses and strains which would be inflicted by my having to cope with the three kids alone for the morning on a day when I must be at my most calm, elegant and well-groomed in the history or future of our entire relationship.

I wanted all the kids from the outset to feel positive about this wedding, which essentially turns us into a step-family and turns lovely fiance into official stepfather of the elder two. They are all extremely happy with us all living together so perhaps I was underestimating them by thinking they might feel anything other than positive about our formalising the relationship. But you never know, do you? Consequently I have allowed them to have quite a lot of input into what they would wear, the food, the stationery etc etc. To be frank eleven-year-old son showed minimal interest in anything except the cake and would without question wear whatever I give him. But nine-year-old daughter took enormous interest from the outset in every detail. It has been a hard feat to convince her that I would not look good in an enormous crinoline pink dress ('like Jordan's') in which I would need to be heaved through doorways and would have to hold lovely fiance's fingertips as he could get no closer to me. On the morning of the wedding I imagine she will be so excited that she will be bouncing off the walls.

I take the children one at a time. Son, aged eleven, would be the easiest of the three. Firstly he can be relied upon to sleep in to a decent hour every day. So I could expect to see him surface around 10am. At this point, if I were to throw him a bacon sandwich and lift the usually imposed Playstation 3 usage restrictions (he's allowed a certain length of time each day on the thing in my constant battle to keep him in the real world rather than the virtual one) I know I wouldn't see him until half an hour before the ceremony. Admittedly I would then have to threaten him to get him in the shower but after that I could then give him his suit and shirt and tell him to get ready, and know that he would.

The baby. If I keep the fourteen-month-old to her usual routine, things might be okay up until the last hour or so when I would be needing to get myself dressed and ready. She doesn't need constant supervision at home because I'm with the plot and have toddler-proofed the house within an inch of its life, but she still needs a close eye on her. Clearly putting her in her cream-coloured dress and bloomers too early would be a BIG mistake (she only has to look at food for it to inexplicably end up smeared upon her). But I could get lovely fiance's mum to dress her for me at the last minute and take her to the venue and then I would be left with maybe as much as an hour to get myself looking perfect (or as near to it as I can with the materials at hand).

Nine-year-old daughter. This is where it all falls down. She has stronger opinions on clothes and hair than anyone else I know. I have yet to buy her wedding shoes and this is predominantly because we are unable to find any middle ground between what she wants (platform skyscraper heels which would be fine were she 18 and going to a nightclub) and what I want her to have (ivory satin flat ballerinas). We are unable to compromise because my offer of the low-heeled occasionwear teen shoes offered by Next or BHS do not meet with her requirements (her yardstick seems to be whether or not Sharpay would wear them in High School Musical). I have for now left this particular argument to be resolved at some point in the future, namely when it is so close to the wedding that I've had enough and impose the shoes upon her rather than letting her have any choice.

Without doubt, my beautiful nine-year-old is likely to be at her most challenging on the wedding morning and, even were the other two to behave perfectly, I will still be unable to sit at my own dressing table because she will be sorting through my make-up bag in search of lipgloss. I know myself well enough to say that the following events would be ugly, and would undoubtedly involve me snarling at them all like some fishwife rather than maintaining the elegant Audrey Hepburn-style countenance I am aiming for.

I give up the fantasy and face facts. I need lovely fiance on the premises on the wedding morning. If it results in bad luck, how much worse could it be than my own sanity pushed to breaking point by the three of them in the few hours prior to the ceremony. Too much is at stake. I will take my chances with the superstition!