Songs To Walk Down The Aisle To

When I married for the first time thirteen years ago things were very different in terms of venue to what is available now. You either got married in traditional fashion with a church ceremony, or you had the civil wedding which took place in a registry office. My first wedding was in a church, partly because I wanted the formality of the service, but I have to be honest and say the only available alternative option had an impact on my decision. This was the rather grubby local registry office opposite a greasy spoon, which left a great deal to be desired.

My first wedding was very traditional in terms of music. We had the ever-popular Bridal March as I walked down the aisle on my father's arm. And then we each chose a couple of hymns for during the service.

For this wedding, choosing the music has been a whole different ball game! As we are getting married and then spending our reception all at the same venue, as many couples do since the introduction of the marriage licence for stately homes, hotels etc, we essentially get the civil wedding ceremony but with far more trimmings and scope for choice than the grim old registry office ever had. The only restriction upon us is that we cannot choose any music with religious connotations. But this didn't bother lovely fiance and myself as we dug out our mutual record collection!

Checking the format of the wedding ceremony, we were surprised to see just how much music is required for the day. You have to note on the form the titles and musicians of all your intended choices, as they have to be approved by the Superintendent Registrar, and the form demands music for before the ceremony (about twenty minutes' worth), music for the bride to walk in to (it specifically requests a VERY short piece of music), music for the signing of the register (about ten minutes) and music for the newly-married couple to leave the room to. Lovely fiance and I needed to find (and more importantly agree on) about forty minutes worth of records. A test of the engaged couples' ability to argue and reach a compromise if ever there was one! I might add at this point that my musical taste is absolutely perfect whilst lovely fiance has a bit of a sad disposition to the Eighties.

Interestingly, the twenty minute requirement before the ceremony was the easiest decision we made. Early in the debate lovely fiance suggested we 'just bung on the Best Of ABBA' and I thought this would be a really good choice. Everybody loves ABBA, everybody knows ABBA, and as long as you don't listen to the lyrics too much (such a lot of it is about the misery of failing relationships disguised by a tune that makes you feel cheerful) it generally makes people feel upbeat. In backing up my argument I hold up the film 'Mamma Mia', the biggest feelgood film in years.

On a roll, we moved on to the bridal procession music, where I enter the room accompanied by my entourage of four children. Here it all falls down. Lovely fiance requested 'Zoom' by Fat Larry's Band, an eighties anthem which everyone in their thirties or forties have at some point smooched to at the youth club disco. However I couldn't help feeling that the bridal music reflects to a certain extent on me (possibly I'm analysing this too much) and I find the record bordering on the cheesy. I therefore suggested an alternative 'My First, My Last, My Everything' by the marvellous Barry White. This song is so well-suited to a wedding, listen to the lyrics and you will see what I mean. Lovely fiance also likes this choice so I feel we are making progress.

A quick play of the Barry White option however threw the question back open. It is such a jaunty tune that I found it impossible to walk to it without starting to jig about in a very non-flattering manner. Plus the fact our toddler daughter loves a good beat and drops everything to bop around whenever suitable music comes on the radio or TV. I cannot risk her deciding to perform a dance routine in the middle of the aisle. Play it and you will see what I mean, it's infectious.

After much debate we move Barry White to the position of exit music, for us to leave the room as husband and wife. I think this is a good choice as it should make everyone feel very happy and upbeat and ready to hit the champagne and canapes. We eventually decide on 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow' by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole for the bridal entry music. It is just so lovely and it goes slowly enough for me to walk in an attractive manner rather than demanding that I sashay down the aisle to keep up with the beat.

Moving on to the final choices, this is about ten minutes' worth of music to cover the signing of the register and associated activities such as posing for pictures holding the pen. Mindful of the need for compromising in our soon-to-be legalised relationship, and in the knowledge that so far I've pretty much managed to lever in my own choices, I get myself some points with lovely fiance by not just suggesting but writing down 'Zoom' on the form as the first record. We are left with two records to choose and I feel I must include the Beatles at some point as I do love them, and so do elder son and daughter who have been indoctrinated by me during many car journeys when I've refused to let them turn off the CD. Lovely fiance on the other hand doesn't 'get' the Beatles and makes a face at my choice of 'When I'm 64'. The ensuing discussion simply results in him washing his hands of the issue and telling me I can choose the last two records. There is no malice in this, lovely fiance really IS lovely. I know him well enough to see that his interest in the wedding music has reached it's limits and his hand is inching towards the TV remote. I lose no time in writing down my Beatles choice and adding 'The Wonder of You' by Elvis. So that would be four out of five choices going my way. A healthy indicator I feel as to the balance in our relationship. Start as you mean to go on!